When I saw my wife Lara engaging Candy in hot lesbo action, I thought to myself, "There's something missing here!" then I suddenly realised what it was. MY DICK, that is what was missing! A girl with a body like Candy's, i.e. perfect tits, little waist and beautiful round bum is lost unless there is a cock somewhere in the picture, i.e. MY COCK! lol So I hurried to the bathroom to freshen up and emptied half a bottle of Hai Karate! on me just to make sure. This stuff works great on the birds and also keeps wasps and flies away when you're at a barbecue! Anyway I arrived back on set just in time to marvel at what a wonderful body Candy has. It looks like it was fashioned by the Devil himself to wreak havoc. I reckon this is the real reason the Pope is resigning. I think he was surfing the net and accidentally stumbled on Candy in her little kilt and seamed stockings and in an instant his Faith went down the plug-hole and all over the Vatican a loud scream pieced the reverential silence, "Bollocks! I can't go on, 60 years of celibacy and then this happens, FUCK! FUCK! BOLLOCKS! I can't take it anymore, I'm outta here!"